Boundaries

Many of us tend to forget our limits when we focus too much on being loving and giving. Do you often say yes when you mean to say no? Do you feel guilty if you do say no? How can you answer to someone you love or work with that may be asking too much of you? Perhaps they are taking advantage of your kindness. The bottom line is you get what you allow. Plain and simple. If you allow others to push your buttons, they will and they will continue to do so. It’s a vicious cycle. The more this happens, the worse you will feel and the less respect others will have for you. Their behavior will stay the same and you will continue to feel unworthy. If they keep getting the response they want from you, why would they do anything different?! Now I’m not telling you to become unkind, sassy, or a spoiled entitled diva… I am saying it is possible to set boundaries in a loving, firm, and effective way. Not only is it great for your self-worth and self-respect, but it will contribute to a healthier, happier relationship overall. Some people may not like it at first when you start to set boundaries. This is pretty typical and you should expect some resistance, but if you are consistent they will eventually adjust. This builds respect on both sides. What about when you say yes out of obligation or someone says something hurtful? Do you often feel frustrated with yourself for not responding the way you wanted to? YES. This can happen with your partner, your kids, friends or co-workers. So why might you have a tough time being assertive and saying what you want? It might be that way because you are allowing others to control your reaction out of fear that they will be angry with you. Believe me, I know it can be tough at first to modify our behavior, but it is the key to self-love, respect and self-empowerment.

In my program I focus on learning how to set healthy boundaries and stay consistent. I focus on becoming self-empowered in a kind, firm way. What are the best ways to communicate our boundaries? This is a big piece of the Empowerment pie! Stay tuned for more pieces in the coming weeks…